Tuesday, September 15, 2009

audible sigh

Kind of hard to sigh on a computer, but there you go.

Can't sleep, so i'm going to babble on this for now.

Been a rough while now, so much not good going on, i just haven't had much in me to post or do much of anything. Long story short: close family member passed, was sick for a while but still going to miss her being around. I've had health issues, doctors have no clue, but it's annoying and frustrating (swollen glands, constant pain mostly in lower back, night sweats for no reason, more and more, ugh). The past few weeks i've had a dream each night where Jodi walks in, i'm surprised and ask how she is there even though she killed herself. It's wearing on me, i know it's a dream, but it feels real and it's every night. I haven't even really picked up my camera lately. Seeing family the other weekend was nice, but i feel more like the black sheep than normal lately, being single with no kids and career not doing so hot. Love them, lots. Wish i could be something they would be proud of, but it's not really in my control.

Okay, getting sleepy now.