Probably doesn't help that my birthday is in a couple weeks, 39, one year to 40. Ugh... Not looking forward to that in the least. Never really thought i would make it to 30, so that's something. Even though the last decade has been a wash, zero progress, not counting the bunnies, which are the only good thing those years. It's like any progress gets erased not long after, but with more a push back. Sort of like, here is a +1, then later, but you also get this -2, too bad. Just feeling impossible to get back to the positive. I know all the different thoughts, that this is temporary, life is loss, that sort of thing. I have no idea how to see that though. I can see there is more to the world than "this", the universe just keeps rubbing my face in it.
I think it's time i took that bath i thought about a little while ago, and read more. That seems to get my mind off things, at least a little.