Wednesday, December 10, 2008

One time one place

I'm in kind of a funk, with doubts about myself and my abilities, all that. I had one of those "duh" moments yesterday when i went out to photograph things, almost a "had the lens cap on" type thing, but more about total over-exposure. Today i went out and picked up some tools to help with my learning lighting and photography more (saw horses, lights, and a charger to replace the one that apparently now lives in the ether. Maybe i'm just doubting myself too much, but no mater what i do, i think it's crap, and bad crap at that. Probably not the best times to try new things, as it would probably turn out crap as my mind is going there anyway. I don't know, this is never a great time of year for me, Sun God always getting dead, spring seeming so far away, that sort of thing. I don't mind the snow so much, it's when it's cold and there isn't snow, seems colder then for some reason. I just never know what to do outside, and as i've said too many times, people get stupid out on the roads. Thankfully i ordered a couple IR filters to try my hand at IR photography. Not going to mod the cameras yet, i don't mind long exposures, maybe once (if) i get a 5D mark 2 i will do the oldest of them, but you can only shoot IR then with it, so it's a one way trip (where you have to gut the thing to do it, so not lightly done). Who knows, maybe i'll hate IR photography, or i'll love it. I need something to inspire me, big time. I really need a muse, anyone have one to spare? Guess they aren't just lying around for free. I'm kind of feeling like just chucking it all away, like i'm never going to be good at it, and should just give up. I get that way sometimes. Hopefully it stops soon and i get better. 

Ever have one of those dreams where you haven't thought about someone a lot, and then you can't stop thinking about them afterwards? It wasn't sexual, but mostly just hanging out with again and being like best friends. I know this is vague, she's married now and far away, so it's not going to happen, but it was a nice dream. Don't know if it's connected, but i slept very well and long last night. That doesn't happen often. How it usually happens is i'll go to bed, and then it may seem like i've been sleeping a long time, but i keep waking up every hour or so and tossing around. So i'm usually very tired even when it seems like i've gotten eight hours, it's probably more like four or so. Good times. (funny, "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd just came on random on my itunes as i was typing this.) Oh well, people change, and not always like you imagine them. But it was a nice dream, that's for sure. Even though Gary Busey was following us around during it. Don't ask. 

Pretty much done with importing CDs, up to around 560 or so, with only a small stack that is having problems importing, missing information, or what not. I didn't know i had so many, yikes. I also found out what ones i had purchased from the iTunes store. Ugh. i do wish they had a system where once you purchased it, you can download it again and again, so in cases like mine (bad backup dur) you aren't screwed. This is the reason i'm not so keen on all downloaded content, too easy to have a crash, and if you can't re-download, you are boned. Something i like about the PS3, once you buy, you can download all that stuff whenever, it even keeps track for you in case you forget. Some saves don't transfer so well, but that's something else. 

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