Friday, December 05, 2008

Damaged goods

I've been watching Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, even though i don't do drugs, i've known enough people who did them and it's interesting to hear Dr. Drew talk about things. One of the people mentioned feeling like damaged goods, and sometimes i understand that feeling even though i haven't gone the drugs route. Something sad is that Amber Smith totally reminds me of Jodi, in looks, addiction, and all that. Watching it i kind of wonder if she had better support that maybe she could have gone a better direction, and hearing some of the things Dr. Drew says makes me see that i could have been better to her, more so near the end. Although i can't keep beating myself up over that, she made her choices, i didn't have as much influence as i keep thinking over her. You can only help someone who really wants the help and is ready for it. Anyway, back to damaged goods, which i am feeling sort of like. I keep trying to tell myself it's the women who don't see the good and not me they are rejecting, but then reality hits me with it's cricket bat. People want the easy way, no matter how much i stand by, wow, i could go into this, but the last two relationships had things i stood by which in hindsight i probably shouldn't have. Not bitter, but wondering why i do that while others won't even give the chance for me. Hmm.. this is getting emo. Sorry about that. Nothing too special has been going on otherwise, still importing cds, up to 450 now. Bunnies are goofy. It's cold and snowy out, but decently warm inside. Listening to podcasts and looking at websites about photography to try and inspire me. Still wanting a new Canon 5d Mark II, badly. That camera is sweet looking, but backordered big time, and i don't know if i can swing it. At least i have the previous version 5d, it's still good. Going to go now, hasn't this been an informative blog? ;)

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